before i die.....

I want a baby girl named Amira and a baby nursery similar to this one!

and i will bring her home in this onsie because i love it:)

a couple days ago i took little miss sassy pants on a little date to get pictures of her...wowwee little 2 year olds are hard to get to smile but she is funny and entertaining. i kept saying hey smile at me and her reply was b-ann i dont want to smile....for which i would ask why and she would say because i dont want too...gosh i love that little lady

ok how cute our her converse? love them!

she's telling me we should stop

her sassy pose hahah love her

little wee turtles

so i have a little time in between sewing and preparing a lesson...i know will it ever slow down? i am asking the same thing. this is another project that i did they are way fun and easy!!!! my niece and nephew saw me making them so i had to make one for them hahah they are too funny.

                                                       
                                                         Have a fabulous weekend!

recovering car seat part I

Ahhh so many projects! This is the bottom part of the car seat cover I LOVE the flower fabric i think its adorable! its been a lot of fun to do so far...no terrible issues that have made me have to start over yet...fingers crossed that never happens:) 

i will post more pictures and also what it looked like before i took it apart. hopefully things will get less crazy! then i can get to posting more projects:) 

before i die.....

along with my claw foot bath tube i want a red door that will be perfect

before i die.....

before i die i want a clawfoot bath tube----they are my favorite! and soaking in one would be totally dreamy mmmmmm i better marry someone that just lets me go crazy decorating.

The Marriage

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last-minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.

*Author unknown.

This story made me cry! Such a sad one but soooo good. even wonderful things need constant work....i know im not married but it is still a good story AND something to be aware of for my future marriage. 

today was a fabulous day! I woke up and walked the pooch while i listened to general conference talks seriously the best thing ever! I use to take for granite being able to listen to talks from modern day apostles and our prophet and rarely would i actually listen to them when i was younger...i seriously missed out on such good ones. My mom has them all on her mp3 and i stole it since she is basking away in the sun in Mexico ( i know rude for not taking me again) and it was the best walk i have ever had.....and i wanted to keep going just so i could listen to just one more talk. after that i headed to work where i got to be the lady in charge of getting people to spin the wheel to get coupons i loved hearing peoples reactions...most consisting of "sooo what is the catch" or " do i have to do anything?" its sad that there seems to be always some catch to coupons now a days but today wasn't one of them you really just spun the wheel. after work i came home and played with the kiddos...caiden is into taking pictures ( i think he has been around me too much because everywhere i take them i take a thousand pictures of random things) hes so funny i love him to death!

Caiden's handy work he said i had to put it on haha (yes im totally rocking the soccer mom look..happens to the best)

Have a FABULOUS weekend!

yesterday was a fabulous day! I got my space in the garage back ahhhh yes that is by far something to celebrate i mean i was dreading the dreadful scrapping of the windows....boy to i hate to scrape my windows more than fruit cake. and it also rained i love the smell of rain and gloomy days mmmm so perfect. And i just LOVE fall its my favorite the smell is to die for AND the colors oh boy the colors pretty sure there is nothing better:)

Happy BIRTHDAY! to my Beautiful friend

Happy Birthday to my BEAUTIFUL friend Stephanie:) She is the girl that i know i will always have in my life. I cherish our friendship so much! I love the sweet spirit that she is and i love being around her. we have been friends for what seems like ages and i love that fact! I know that she is always there for me through thick and thin and i hope she feels the same about me. Girly have a wonderful day and get spoiled rotten! If you were here i would definitely pamper you all day long with cake pops and craft projects;) LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

before i die.....

i have always wanted to sky dive...call me crazy but it just seems like a lot of fun. of course im sure when i get to that moment i will be FREAKING out but i definitely want to someday say that i have sky dived and lived to tell the tale!

some girls can be just as gross as boys....

today while rushing to the bathroom after class since i have been drinking water like it is going out of style since im doing this crazy 60 day challenge with matthew (i need to be hydrated people)...anyways back to rushing to the bathroom i walked in slowly (don't want it to look like im going to pee my pants) i walk into a crowded bathroom that reeks like my neices poopy diaper i was shocked---i mean hello people save it for umm not a public bathroom and in between classes the BUSIEST time of the day for the potties ewwww. don't worry it gets better the corporate of the smell was still there grunting away in the stall totally sick! And no worries i was hungry before i walked in thinking about what to eat since it was my 5th time eating and it was only 1:15 (yes people 5th time burning calories is hard work) but i lost all of my appetite leaving that bathroom that forever changed my life.

yes i had to include a picture of stalls ;)

i love pictures and i will admit i love being the model for the pictures ahahahah. having said that i always find ways to enslave my friends to take pictures of me.....i was hoping to get colorful trees BUT they haven't quite changed yet soooo that means i need to enslave another friend to take pictures of soon;) i promise i give them a choice and they always say that they had fun after so that makes it ok right?

i love fields and even already cut fields 

this cat was super friendly! i thought it was going to follow us forever but she got bored and moved on to the next people

i love this shirt it cost me $1.67 hello employee discount and clearance item:)

i loved the lighting that day it was perfect and made the trees a light green so pretty

i loved these leaves they were white---it was weird but cool and again the lighting peaking through the trees totally my favorite!

it was a fun late afternoon (at least i enjoyed myself)

i really enjoy having my niece and nephew at our house---well for the most part they at times have their moments where im SOOOOO beyond glad they are not mine. last night i was in charge of bath time duties where i ended up looked like a drenched poodle since they find it way to entertaining to fling water just about everywhere. but when i was drying off bailey i told her to shake her little bootie to get it dry and she found it way to funny and now goes around saying "B-anne lets shake our booties" She is so stinkin cute and i love her to death. We even had a silly picture session before i headed off to my dance it was a good night!

caiden's face makes me laugh everytime! So funny

I love these two so much!

I can't get over how funny caiden is ahhh he's a clown

But he is also a stinker and wouldn't take a picture with me 

I love little miss baileys laugh---and yes caiden is being grumpy

And you might think that Caiden is just wearing a normal watch BUT he's watch (a.k.a my dads watch) turns him into buzz lightyear and is able to kill people if he pushes the green button...i love kids imaginations! 

Dance Dance

Last night I got roped into going to a dance---which are exactly like any youth church dance BUT with older still single people...sadly they are equally as lame as i remember BUT you can always make them fun. I had Liz there to make it a blast we danced around like crazy people to music that was way hard to dance too (the slow yet has fast moment kind of songs)...we even did the macarena that lasts for hours we had a little too much fun rolling our hips on that one. After the dance i headed over to liz's apartment where we watched cutting edge while her roommate made soup at 11:30 p.m. still trying to figure out why she made it so gosh darn late but she did. the movie was ridiculously cheesey but i enjoyed it!

these two girls are a lot of fun and keep me sane with my boy out of town!

I love liz soooo much!!!! we are the exact same person just in different bodies as we like to say hahah.